Last night I had the strangest dream...

I was working at some kind of summer camp, which was a hodgepodge of BYU Music Camp (where I spent 3 summers as a counselor), my current school of employment, and Hogwarts (I just got the first HP movie from Netflix- I'm not some kind of HP freak). At the beginning of the dream, I was lobbying for my boss (a knee-shorts wearing, whistle blowing female PE teacher type, to approve a scholarship to sponsor an underprivileged at-risk kid to come to camp. I'm such a good guy, right?

It turned out that the "kid" who ended up coming to camp on scholarship was none other than David Spade. That's right. 45-year-old, long-hair-that-was-in-style-10-years-ago, David Spade. This sounds like it could be an Adam Sandler movie, no?

For pretty much the rest of my dream, I was assigned to keep David Spade out of trouble. We referred to him as "David Spade," as in, "Gee golly, David Spade broke into the commons room after hours again!" or "Gosh David Spade, will you ever learn your lesson?"

Then, on my afternoon off from camp, after waking from a relaxing afternoon nap (interesting that I take naps in my dreams, huh?), I went to the counselors' garage to get my car. Yes, in my dreams, camp counselors have a small garage where we park the camp Hummer. Yes, camp counselors drive Hummers around camp, golf cart style. There I found David Spade, sitting in the Hummer, ignition on, garage door closed. David Spade was trying to commit suicide!!!

For the remainder of the dream, I kept rescuing David Spade from his many, many suicide attempts. It was very Better Off Dead-esque, in that there was one outlandish suicide attempt after another. Then, at the camp awards at the end of the week, David Spade won the award for "most suicide attempts." Sigh.

The End.

2007 Year in Review

1) BUDDIES OF THE YEAR
All of the V.V. Vikings =)

2) LIFETIME SERVICE AWARD (longest friend) -
Wendeleeza, Briana, Ty

3) NEWCOMER AWARD - COOLEST NEWEST FRIEND?
he knows who he is =)

3) HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR?
being accepted to present at the 2008 National Educational Computing Conference w/ an awesome professor

4) LOW POINT OF THE YEAR?
Low point? Everything this year was peachy, right? haha...

5) BEST HOLIDAY?
I'm banking on New Year's because everything else kinda sucked.

6) YOUR SONG FOR 2007
Trusted, by Ben Folds

7) MOVIE FOR 2007
Walk Hard- The Dewey Cox Story

10) WHO DID YOU SPEND VALENTINES WITH?
my grandparents

11) BEST RELATIONSHIP?
Ummm...my friendships.

12) WHAT WERE YOU FOR HALLOWEEN?
Snow white

13) RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR?
Sammy's Woodfired Pizza

14) KISS OF THE YEAR?
a kiss on the cheek from a certain someone

15) BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR?
becoming a homeowner, which hasn't technically happened yet...

16) WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR?
I want to be a homeowner!

18) TV SHOW OF THE YEAR?
The Office, Scrubs

19) MOST LOYAL FRIEND?
Briana, Ty

20) BIGGEST CHANGE OF THE YEAR?
moving forward alone...

21) BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG AWARD?
No comment, but I think we all know the answer to that. Add "coward" while we're at it.

22) NEW YEAR RESOLUTION?
I WILL find a house.

Wise Words #1
(aka: WW #1)

This is the first installment of a new blog feature, where I dispense wise words from dear friends, in this case, Wendy. Suck it up, Jack Handy.

"If your name rhymes with Lacy or Stacy, don't marry a guy whose last name is Peterson. Just don't do it. You'll end up dead."

I normally don't do this, but "The Office" has dominated most of my conversations with adults today. So there. Love it.

I am considering a haircut.

Comments and suggestions are welcome.

How could you NOT love this face?

Dear BiggyB,

In this time of giving thanks, I am thankful for our friendship.

We lugged 14 paper grocery bags full of (heavy!) books all over Portland using public transportation.

You bravely played Joni Mitchell songs when I accidentally booked our chick band at a crowded biker bar.

Thanks for humoring my slight obsessions with: M*A*S*H, Jim from "The Office," and the Josh Joplin Group.

You "accidentally" forgot the "alternate lyrics" when you-know-who was there... Thanks a lot, jerkface. =)

Oh, and in related news... I left my phone on the counter when I went to return YOUR vhs copy of "Malibu's Most Wanted" to Blockbuster. You used this golden opportunity to call a certain person...

You spotted Steve Buscemi at Sundance. AND Eddie Murphy.

You taught me how to (literally) cross multi lanes of traffic without getting hit by a car (both as a pedestrian and as a driver). You also taught me that it's not cool to ride the brakes when driving on the freeway.

You help me forget to be sad.

I love you, B! Thanks for everything.

Dear Holidays,
Why do I love you so? Maybe it's the paid time home from work. Yes, that must be it.
Love,
Heather

Need an affordable one-of-a-kind gift for your favorite family member/ teacher/ sports fan/ musician? Have I got a website for YOU!

I am starting an online store. That's right... an online store. I'll be selling hand crafted glass gem magnets and possibly jewelry at some point.

I'm sure at this point, you're asking yourself, "Where can I find such a store amidst the internets?" Thanks for asking. Right here: www.heatherbee702.etsy.com
I'll have some items posted in the next couple days.

As an elementary school teacher, I can attest to the sheer delight of apron-wearing. (Yes, Briana, apron-wearing.) This prevents me from having tons o' junk (keys, memos, slobbery toys confiscated from kids, etc..) in my pocket, and then coming home only to discover that I still have the junk in my pocket. See, I typically don't like to bring the germ infested souvenirs of my day job into my living space.

Also, I occasionally misplace my keys. And teachers have a lot of keys- keys to the school, gate keys, classroom keys, copy room keys, filing cabinet keys, bathroom keys... There is nothing more humbling than desperately asking 20 seven-year-olds if they have any idea where your keys are. Now that I've taken up apron-wearing, I just leave my keys in the apron pocket.

And of course the most obvious benefit of apron-wearing is that I don't end up with paint/marker/snot on my clothing during the course of the school day.

This awesome apron-making blogger and etsy user is having a giveaway on her one-year-blogiversary. Check it out, folks!

Tonight, I enjoyed my Friday night routine, which usually involves watching "20/20" on ABC. Tonight's episode featured several impoverished families and the generous and immense help they received from 20/20 viewers.

While I sympathize with the innocent children (ie: victims) of poverty, some common themes run through the stories of the adults.
#1. They dropped out of school and gave up on education.
#2. They got themselves or someone else pregnant.
One family spent their welfare money on brand name gourmet donuts instead of anything resembling actual food. Another so-called impoverished family had every video game product imaginable, yet there were no books to be found in their house.

Why is so much help given to those who do little to help themselves? I’ve made all the “right” decisions in life, yet there are weeks when I cannot afford to put groceries on the table or gas in my car. Last year, I taught elementary school full-time and had two part-time jobs, while finishing my M.Ed. thesis.

My father passed away when I was a teenager, and I’ve worked to support my family ever since. I worked full time AND studied hard to earn scholarships to put myself through college and graduate school. I never gave up. I have a masters' degree.

So I chose to give back to my own neighborhood by teaching at the same impoverished school I attended as a child. With teacher salaries being what they are, I will never be a homeowner. I will never pay off my student loans. I am one paycheck away from being homeless.



Where is the help for those of us who’ve made responsible choices?

I've had the stomach flu, or something nasty, since last Friday. This means a lot of vomit. Gross. You know when you see someone throw up and it makes you want to vomit? Yah, I actually threw up in front of the kids in my class. Immediately after, some kids threw up. Gross.

My classroom = vomitorium.

All of this down time means that I'm slowly making my way through my Netflix queue. Right now, I have the first disc of Kids in the Hall Season 2, Shopgirl, and The Ron Clark Story.

116 movies to go...

CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF:

Teachers do not enjoy giving homework!!! Case in point... I just spent the last two hours of my weekend putting together homework assignments for the upcoming week. That doesn't even count the amount of time I will spend tomorrow morning photocopying and compiling homework packets. Plus, the more homework I assign, the more I will have to eventually grade.

One of my colleagues made a valid point about homework. He said that it is a "worthless grade," because we never know who is really doing the homework. Trust me, I have an idea. When a kid who can't even write his own name turns in a three paragraph essay, I have a pretty good idea of who is doing the homework... and it ain't the kid.

So my point? I'm pretty much OVER assigning homework. Although I feel that students need the opportunity to reinforce the skills we are working on in class, I feel like there must be some more meaningful way to do so. Any ideas are welcome.

Love,
Heather

Ahem. Let's be Netflix friends. It's really cool, I promise. Click on my cool hyperlink and it will take you a place where you can add me to your friend's list. I promise it's not about a free Macy's giftcard. haha.

This is a way for friends to recommend movies and it even lets you take a quiz about what movies your friends like. It's super cool. By the way, since joining Netflix, I have saved literally zillions of dollars on movie purchases.

B.N. (Before Netflix), I would buy nearly every single movie I wanted to see, which added up to about flobbity jillion dollars annually. And that's a modest estimate, because we all know those boxed sets of our favorite shows can sure get pricey. =)

"Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures"
-by my fav band of the moment
The Postal Service (Thanks for the great CD, Ryan!)

So I'm back on the Netflix bandwagon! I finally sent back The DaVinci Code, which I've had since last November, with full intent of watching it, really. I finally saw it this summer in Germany.

I accidentally rented another French film, King of Hearts. Not that I mind French cinema, but I was really looking for a light-hearted British comedy, rather than the heart-felt dripping-with-feeling movie I got. That's all right though. It was about a WWI Scottish soldier who is sent to defuse a bomb in Northern France. Running from the Germans, he holes himself up in the insanse asylum, and the residents there crown him "king." With the rest of the town evacuated, they escape from the asylum.

Anyway, if anyone wants to be Netflix buddies, let me know. It'll be fun, I promise. And I usually don't rent drippy French films. Well, sometimes I do...

Dear Wendy, Deanna, and related parties,

Some of you have taken issue with my choice of footwear. And by "some of you," I mean everyone in the lower 48 states, including 94.1's Mark and Mercedes, several coworkers, and my mother. However, MY footwear leaves my feet feeling pampered, comfy cozy, and perhaps most importantly, fully intact... while your choice of footwear leaves your feet looking like this:


I've come to terms with the fact that my shoes are made of rubbery plastic. Why can't the world just let us be? (cue the theme from the 1970's version of Romeo & Juliet)

My point? My shoes are awesome. Are your shoes available in every color of the rainbow, in a myriad of styles? Didn't think so. So in the words of our friend Sinbad circa 1993, "BoooooooYAH."

Love,
Heather

I was just getting used to glorious indulgences of the weekend: staying up past 11pm, taking my dog to the park in the middle of the day, wearing jeans... And as I sit here blogging at midnight while watching TVland, I sadly realize that the weekend is over. Seven and a half hours from now, I'll be pulling into the parking lot at work, wearing sensible shoes and a blazer. Sigh.

I wonder if people in "9-5" professions (other than teaching) experience this same end-of-weekend nostalgia... or if it's just a school-related anxiety.

In any case, I'm really satisfied with my work this year. I have a big class with students that have all sorts of strengths and challenges. I go home at the end of the day proud of my students. I don't dread Mondays anymore. I feel jittery excitement when I get to go back to work. There are numerous possible reasons for this: I teach at my elementary school alma matter, I'm in a real classroom as opposed to a trailer on the outskirts of the actual school, I'm not bound by NCLB... this list could go on and on.

The point is, I'm really happy with the direction my career is heading. So there.

On a dear friend's myspace, my profile picture is ominously placed in this manner:


Is this not disturbing?

Kudos to anyone who can name the person whose profile ironically juxtaposes these photos.

I love the digital age because I can update my blog all out of order, but then my great-great-great grandchildren who will read this someday in their Jetson spaceship house will be fooled into thinking that I have a intricately detailed and organized blog which serves as a history of blah... blah... blah...

The point? I'll be updating my blog out of order. So check back and I may have awesome pics of Europe added post-vacation, and those entries will be located before my current tales of Seinfeldian nothingness. Have a super day!