Saturday, February 25, 2006

I saw this film today. Thanks, Netflix.

Why did I order it? Because one of the people I respect and admire most in the world, Tim Irwin, a BYU professor who made a huge and lasting impact on the way I see the world, worked on this film. In fact, he was working on it at the same time that he was teaching our documentary production class. He would come to class all drained and tired, telling us bits and pieces about working on this "gnarly" film.

This film is about a woman, Celesta Davis, who, with a camera crew, confronted the man who molested her as a child. In the actual film, Celesta comes across as a major attention-seeker, and her intentions for making the movie are unclear. After listening to the directors' commentary, however, it is clear that her primary intention was to find peace for herself; she was seeking closure to a painful childhood.

What kills me is that her parents knew that this man was molesting their children... and didn't do anything about it. He was a longtime friend of Celesta's parents. The film implied that their families were in the same ward, and the parents had gone to college together.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Sooo, I'll quote my friend and yours, Mr. Conor Oberst. This is the applicable-song-of-the moment, well, not right now, but it was applicable last weekend. And unless something dramatic and wonderful happens concerning Mr. "D," this will be the last mention of him. Ever.

Left by the lamp, right next to the bed
On a cartoon cat pad I scratched with pen
"Everything is as it's always been,
This never happened"

"Don't take it too bad, it's nothing you did
It is just once something dies, you can't make it live
You're a beautiful boy, you're a sweet little kid
But I am a woman"

So I laid back down, wrapped myself up in the sheet
And I must have looked like a ghost 'cause something frightened me
And since then I've been so good at vanishing.

Now I do as I please, and I lie through my teeth
Someone might get hurt, but it won't be me
I should probably feel cheap, but I just feel free
And a little bit empty

No, it isn't so hard to get close to me
There will be no arguments, we'll always agree
And I'll try and be kind when I ask you to leave
We'll both take it easy

But if you stay too long inside my memory
I will trap you in a song tied to a melody
And I'll keep you there so you can't bother me

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Phoenix was awesome. Seriously. Beth and I volunteered for the Special Olympics, watched "Waiting for Guffman," visited the Mesa Temple, and spent some quality time with the Ferrins. I also spent time with Tyree, doing the things that have historically been key ingredients in our friendship: looking at Apple computers and their affiliated products, shopping for bathing suits, having an unplanned slumber party, and browsing in Pier One. I also got to meet Tyree's beautiful mom & siblings, as well as Bethany's brother, sister-in-law and roomates. All in all, it was a great trip.

And it took my mind of the painful fact that the relationship, or even any friendship, with "D" is slowly withering away. I really needed a break, a vacation of sorts from life in Las Vegas, and I desperately needed to spend some time with people who I care about/who care about me.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Soooo in case anyone's following my (lack of) love life, here's the update... "D" hasn't called for awhile. It's partly a relief and it's partly torture. Maybe he found my blog.

I'm going to visit Bethany tomorrow. I'm excited. Yay Phoenix!