Sunday, January 15, 2006

At church today, the bishop said, "Nice to see you back." And I thought to myself, "what the heck? I've been here every week." I realize that there are fifty billion people in that ward, half of which being transient, but that comment still struck me as kind of odd. Did he confuse me with someone else? Is he going to think I'm inactive when I go to my recommend renewal interview on Tuesday night? Nevermind that I have three callings. Never mind that there are at least fifteen other girls in the ward who look just like me.

Another question I have is this... if you are living almost entirely off of student loans, what exactly are you supposed to pay tithing on?

Also, on Wednesday night, a representative of the bishop's wife asked me if I wanted to fill in at ward "date night," because someone else cancelled and they needed another girl. I've been in that ward for over a year and have yet to be asked on a date by a ward member. I think that is directly related to A.) my lack of blondness, and B.) my being over the age of 21. Why waste my Thursday night with guys who don't want to date me/who I would never want do date? Hmmm... maybe I have a bad attitude.

Or maybe it's dignity. Or maybe pride. Or maybe because I really like "D." Geography sucks. So how do you go from "people who independently like eachother" to being a "couple"? Hmm??? I think one person has to go out on a ledge, take a risk, etc... And that person will never be me.

Here are the relationships I've screwed up because I never said anything:
1) S.H.
2) N.C.
3) K.L.
4) S.R.
5) K.G.
6) Br.Dl.

Speaking of dignity, I've noticed that a long-time friend constantly embarasses herself in front of guys. Seriously, she throws herself shamelessly at anyone wearing a suitcoat. She's a lot better than that, ie: she's beautiful, smart, motivated, etc... I just don't understand.