Monday, August 25, 2008

So I went to a church function recently where one of the girls was going on and on about some guy- a great catch, she said. In her words, his family was loaded, but she said she would never go out with him because he had "chinky eyes." (yes, this is wrong on sooo many levels) This girl then went on to speculate on the genetic origins of his "chinkiness" (yes, she actually used that hateful word). She wondered out loud, "Maybe his mom is half chink."

W... T... F...

In the light of this event, as well as the recent Racist Spanish Olympic Basketball Team fiasco, I'm going to offer you all a brief tutorial. 

If you are my friend (or "chin-gu," as I call it in my mother-tongue), you can joke with me about the following things:
* my penchant for taking too many photos, especially multiple pictures of the same thing
* my affinity for Korean melon candy and patbingsu (ie: red bean snow cones)
* my love for Pucca stationary products
* my disgustingly amazing ability to achieve a perfect tan in one afternoon

If you suspect someone is Asian, you should probably not do the following things:
* make that disgusting gesture where you hold up the corners of your eyes (ie: the Spanish Olympic Basketball Team).
* call them a "halfie," a "guk," a "jap," or a "chink"
* use a Sharpie to write "Jap GO HOME" on the windshield of their car while they are in a gas station (thanks, random bigot from Cedar City, it was really fun cleaning that off!)
* use a Sharpie to write "Jap GO HOME" on their apartment door (thanks, random bigot in Provo! Seriously peeps, is that a line from a movie or something? Why do random bigots keep writing that on my stuff?!? K, it's only been two people in almost 30 years, but still...)
* refuse to rent them an apartment on the grounds that they "might make Chinese food that stinks up the house" (ahhh, gotta love Provo)
* assume they're from a country that they're not really from, and then gush on about how you served your mission in this country, and gush on and on about how you "love their people"

Oh yah, and did I mention that the forementioned church activity was a thinly veiled attempt at fellowshipping less active members? No, really, it was. Eek.


Kascia Lybbert said...

Heather, you have the best blog I've ever seen! It is SOOOO DANG entertaining! Thank you!! Oh my goodness, I am still cracking up over the Britney Spears video spoof! That was so incredibly hilarious! I will be watching that a few more times! I want to put it on my blog so I can show all my family...with your permission of course. And that is if I can figure out how to do it. I don't know how to do the videos yet. I'm kind of stupid.

Anyway,don't worry about the remarks everyone makes...they're just jealous!! VERY JEALOUS!! :)

So what are you up to? I'm trying to figure it out from the blogs, do you teach 1st grade? In Provo? Just catching up on you! I still need to put your link on my blog. I'm way behind! Anyway, keep BLOGGING cause you make my day!!

Kascia Lybbert said...

Did I tell you I LOVE YOUR BLOG?? If I didn't just wanted to be sure I did!! You're HILARIOUS!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cristy said...

Oooooo that is infuriating! My husband is half Chinese (and Tahitian) and it's surprising the stories he and his family can tell about peoples ignorance. Of course, being one of the only "white" people in the family, I now get my fair share of racial jokes... ;)

One thing I would add to your list is not to assume which Asian country one comes from. And to never ask "What BREED are you?"

Wendy said...

When I worked in the nail salon, most of the employees were Vietnamese, save for myself and another girl, Suzy. Suzy is Korean. Clients would always ask Suzy to tell the other salon workers something "in your language". Suzy's language is English. She was raised in America by her white adoptive parents. But even if she wasn't, her language wouldn't be Vietnamese. People are so obtuse it's disgusting. I wish I'd been at that dinner. That girl needed someone to put her in her place.

Amanda XOX said...

Wow. All I can say is wow! And you should talk to that girl. You of all people would have a great way I'm sure of putting her in her place I'm sure =o)

Amanda XOX said...

Wow. I think all I can say is "I'm sure"..... it's been a long day, but I enjoy reading blogs until I can't keep my eyes hardly opened =o)

Emily B said...

Stupid crackers. You should have said something to that girl like, "Can you explain to me what 'chinky eyes' look like or what gives a person 'chinkiness'?" That would have shut her up.

Wendy said...

Emily, LOL, maybe YOU should have been at that dinner.

Laurel said...

Heather, I am so sorry - I am completely embarrassed for other people and definitely think someone needs to say something - they can't be allowed to keep thinking that those things they say are okay.

Three Crazy Collins said...

WOW...that's all I have to say. WOW. I promise to never make rude racial gestures or call you or anyone else horrible racist names. EEK! It was a fun post to read, though. Scott and I are both dumbfounded at the interesting people our world is filled with. And apparently I had more to say than wow.