Friday, November 25, 2011

Why I Dislike Halloween- or Reasons for Staying Home on October 31

1. I feel silly wearing a costume. No one needs to see a 30+year old lady dressed up like Snow White or Wonder Woman.
2. I feel tempted to dress my dog in a costume. We all get those spam emails featuring pugs dressed up like Yoda and dachsunds dressed up like hot dogs, which of course make me want to dress up my shihtzu. This never ends well, as I feel embarrased, both for my dog and for myself when other people start treating me as if I've lost my marbles.
3. I feel upset/irritated when other people feel the need to dress like the members of another racial/ethnic group. I am Asian. I feel supremely annoyed when other people dress up like samurais or geishas. Its like yellow blackface (or yellowface, I suppose). This Halloween season, I've encountered white people dressed like geishas (with slanty eye makeup), Aunt Jemima (in full blackface), and a particularly questionable Hispanic-themed costume consisting of a pancho, sombrero, and an empty tequila bottle. It is as if they are saying, "hey, your racial identity is so unreal and unhuman, I'm wearing it as a costume." What, was Party City out of zombie costumes this year, so you decided to dress in blackface/yellowface/brownface?
4. Candy ain't free. 'Nuff said.
5. I feel annoyed handing out candy to infants and/or trick-or-treaters whose voices have changed. If you don't have teeth yet and can't sit upright, I'm pretty sure your parents are going to be eating your weight in milk duds. And if you're old enough to have a drivers' license, don't you dare ring my doorbell and demand free candy.

3 comments:

Aaron and Emily said...

I had plenty of people handing out candy, make me feel bad for not wanting to give my 1 year old any candy. But hey, the older kids are already veggie-deficient sugar crazy. Why would I want to start the baby on it before he even cares?!

Tatzo.com said...

Nice blog-will follow!!

Briana Elaine said...

I love you, Heather! Please write an inappropriate children's book!