In this time of introspection,

On the eve of my election,

I say to my reflection,

"God please spare me more rejection."

- Ben Folds, Army

For the last 10 years or so, I've chosen the end of October as a time to reevaluate the direction in which my life is heading. I know that most people do this on New Years, but I feel like that's the easy way out because everyone knows that New Years' Resolutions are just a token effort to feel better about ones' self after eating ones' own weight in holiday food. =)

So the biggest change in my life is that I find myself newly single, after ending a 10 month, largely long-distance, relationship with a very special person. Sure, it's easy to wallow in a puddle of "what if's." At this point, however, I think the healthiest thing would be to just suck it up, consider what I learned, and focus on the future. This is the strategy that I usually rely on after a devastating disappointment, and so far it's proven well.

To my friends with school-age children, fellow teachers, and people who enjoy a custom word search,

This is the most amazing site in the whole world. Really. I will never have to give (or grade) another spelling test as long as I live! Not only does it have a dozen custom spelling games, but it gives an individualized test for each kid, reads each word AND uses it in a sentence! And it reads it in a HUMAN voice, not a creepy computer voice. Kids can take the test at their own pace with less testing anxiety. When the kids are done with the test, they print out a certificate with their score and which words they missed! This is truly amazing, people.

... and it's free!!!

Maybe life isn't so bad after all. Over a year ago, Briana and I toyed with the idea of starting a "good things" blog, where we would each share one thing that made us happy. We planned on doing this every week so we would get in the habit of focusing on positive things. Well, like many good ideas, this never came to fruition.

So I'm going to start it now by listing some lovely things from this week:

To usher in fall, I made pumpkin pie... from scratch. Baking pumpkin pie always reminds me of my dad's Thanksgiving tradition of baking 900 kinds of pies, all from scratch. The aroma of pumpkin pie baking in the oven makes me feel like my dad is still here.

At the neighborhood grocery store tonight, I was greeted by a little girl who was in my class last year. She ran up to me with open arms, gave me a huge hug, and shouted, "Maestra!" ("maestra" = "teacher" in Spanish).

I realize this is kind of lame, but I'm going to share it anyway. I very rarely watch Futurama. But tonight, the one time I turned it on in months, it just happened to be my favorite episode (In case you were wondering, it was the one where Lela met her long-lost parents. Hey- I said it was lame).

On facebook, I had an instant message discussion with one of my classmates from BYU. I was really happy to hear that he is gainfully and happily employed in broadcasting. It always makes me smile when I hear that my broadcasting/film school classmates are actually employed in our field! However, there was always something special about this particular classmate. He is a very talented journalist, but in college, he proved to also be humble, kind, and genuinely good. There's just something awesome about knowing that good things really do happen to good people. 

I can't believe six weeks of school are already over! If this were college, it'd be midterm time. I am so happy with my (gigantic) class. The kids have really learned our routines and procedures and they are learning so much. I love third grade. The kids are still sweet and somewhat innocent, but they are mature enough to handle joking around. 

Please click here for a lovely blog entry from my dear friend, Blair. This made my day and could quite possibly make your day, too.

Love, H

I got this forwarded email from a well-intentioned source who meant no harm. This created the following exchange:
****************************************************
RE: Photography shoot for the LDS Curriculum Department

Dear Talent File Participant,
I apologize for the extreme tardiness of this request. I have been given the assignment to find "non-Caucasian" families and singles to attend a photo shoot this Sunday, September 28th. It was my desire to glean help from the surrounding wards, thereby not taxing our talent pool yet again, with requests for ethnicities. However, the members in that area have not responded to the call, and I am now desperate for help!
Would you, or ANYONE you know, be willing to attend this small photo shoot for Church Curriculum? (By "ethnic," at this point, we'd be grateful to have anyone with a dark tan!)
Here is the information I have available:
Project: Photographs for the new "Gospel Principles" manual to be released in 2010.
Setting: A Ward Sacrament Meeting
Needed: Ethnic Minorities (non-Caucasian) who can follow directions in English. Singles are welcome! Families are welcome! All children need to be accompanied by at least one parent.
Location: LDS Chapel located at 1925 Gunderson Lane, Holladay, UT
Date: Sunday, September 28, 2008
Time: Please arrive between 3:30 – 3:45pm. (No later than 3:45pm.)
Duration: Until about 5:00pm.
********************************************************

This is the reply I sent:
Hello. I just received a forwarded email requesting "ethnic" members for a photo shoot. As a person of color, I find the manner of this request quite insensitive. For your future reference, next time you put out an all-call for "ethnic minorities," please don't say "by 'ethnic,' at this point, we'd be grateful to have anyone with a dark tan!"
Also, my skin may be dark, but I am able to "follow directions in English." I followed them just fine during my undergrad studies at BYU and during my graduate work. Your assumption that members of the church with dark skin are unable to follow rudimentary directions in English is quite offensive. I would have hoped that the general population of our church would be more enlightened, if not especially the leadership and those working for church media.
Please be more sensitive- or at least less openly ignorant- when making future requests.
********************************************************
They responded quickly, but CC'd to everyone in the whole world. Basically, they told me that they are "sorry I feel this way."
Here is their response:

I am sorry that you took offense where none was intended. Many "ethnic minorities" come from other countries. If I were in China, I would not be able to follow directions in Mandarin, and that would rule me out. [If you were in China, the directions would be given in Mandarin AND English because that's how ignorant Americans demand everything.]
Again, no offense was intended, nor have I received any feedback from anyone but you that this language was offensive. [clearly, because people with dark skin apparently can't read English]

**********************************************************

You know, offense that isn't intended is just as ugly and often more insidious. So basically, they don't MEAN to be ignorant, but they're going to be anyway.

If they are really having such a hard time finding "ethnic" people, perhaps they could just use Caucasian people and put them in blackface, since they already did that in "Testaments." That's right. Instead of finding an actual "ethnic" person to play the lead role, they put the lovely (and Caucasian) Joy Gardner into blackface for the role... or would the more correct term be "brownface"?

SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE!!!

I really do want to know how many people were in your elementary school classes!

Thank you Shan & Amanda, for your feedback. =)

You should all be pleased to know that I successfully got my Fulbright application turned in before the deadline this past Friday, thanks to the following people:

•  Dr. Keeler- amazing recommendation letter writer and the fastest email responder ever
  
•  Dr. G, Mrs. B, and Mr. S- letter writers extraordinaire 
•  Briana- morale booster, proof reader, and finder of missing verbs
  
•  Steve- essay shaper, proof reader, and catcher of words like "Cocoa-Cola" (Seriously, if it wasn't for Steve, I would have turned in a curriculum vitae that proudly stated that I was a Cocoa-Cola Scholar.)

Thank you, guys!!!

Not that I'm counting, but this...

is starting to feel an awfully lot like this:

I have a relatively large class, especially for third grade. I'm currently at 29 students (and counting!), and I have nearly 40 students in my reading intervention group. Did I mention yet that I only have 32 desks? We are seriously running out of my room, and thanks to the district hiring freeze, we have no hope of getting any more teachers (we have four teachers doing the work of six teachers). Somehow I lucked out and actually have a REAL classroom in the actual school building; the other third grade teachers are teaching in tiny portable trailers where there used to be basketball courts.

I am really dumbfounded. What happened to CLASS SIZE REDUCTION? According to one of my favorite pieces of Nevada Legislation, third grade is supposed to be capped at 21 students. The only loophole exists in a team teaching situation, where two teachers share a maximum of 38 students. This is not the situation in my school. 

I am honestly trying to remember how many kids were in my class back when I was a third grader, and I cannot remember. So, just for perspective, how many kids were in your classes when you were in elementary school?  

These are a few of my favorite things...

(about Steve)

Steve:

 ... loves his family.

... has always been 100% honest with me.

... works so hard and has accomplished so much academically and professionally.

... stands up for what he believes in with undying resolution (even though sometimes this drives me crazy).

... gives his all working for the causes he supports.

... enjoys a flick at the Tower just as much as I do.

... is looking forward to Sundance.

... takes me on dates to the State Capitol building.

... has sent me flowers "just because."

... fixed the door handle on my car.

... spends time with my wonderful friends and family.

... loves art museums.

... reads stories to my elementary school kids and did an AWESOME "Flat Stanley" for my class.

... supports all of my academic and professional endeavors.

So I went to a church function recently where one of the girls was going on and on about some guy- a great catch, she said. In her words, his family was loaded, but she said she would never go out with him because he had "chinky eyes." (yes, this is wrong on sooo many levels) This girl then went on to speculate on the genetic origins of his "chinkiness" (yes, she actually used that hateful word). She wondered out loud, "Maybe his mom is half chink."

W... T... F...

In the light of this event, as well as the recent Racist Spanish Olympic Basketball Team fiasco, I'm going to offer you all a brief tutorial. 

If you are my friend (or "chin-gu," as I call it in my mother-tongue), you can joke with me about the following things:

* my penchant for taking too many photos, especially multiple pictures of the same thing

* my affinity for Korean melon candy and patbingsu (ie: red bean snow cones)

* my love for Pucca stationary products

* my disgustingly amazing ability to achieve a perfect tan in one afternoon

If you suspect someone is Asian, you should probably not do the following things:

* make that disgusting gesture where you hold up the corners of your eyes (ie: the Spanish Olympic Basketball Team).

* call them a "halfie," a "guk," a "jap," or a "chink"

* use a Sharpie to write "Jap GO HOME" on the windshield of their car while they are in a gas station (thanks, random bigot from Cedar City, it was really fun cleaning that off!)

* use a Sharpie to write "Jap GO HOME" on their apartment door (thanks, random bigot in Provo! Seriously peeps, is that a line from a movie or something? Why do random bigots keep writing that on my stuff?!? K, it's only been two people in almost 30 years, but still...)

* refuse to rent them an apartment on the grounds that they "might make Chinese food that stinks up the house" (ahhh, gotta love Provo)

* assume they're from a country that they're not really from, and then gush on about how you served your mission in this country, and gush on and on about how you "love their people"

Oh yah, and did I mention that the forementioned church activity was a thinly veiled attempt at fellowshipping less active members? No, really, it was. Eek.

So I pretty much had the best first day of school ever today. Only 25 kids showed up, which was great, because I was told I'd have 30+ kids. Believe it or not, five kids makes a big difference. (Think about it. Imagine you have NO kids, and then suddenly you have FIVE kids. Big difference, right???) There were no major outbursts, no tears (from me or the kids), and no first graders tried to stab me this year. All in all, it was pretty awesome.

 In the immortal words of Edwin McCain, "I could not ask for more." *

* ...with the exception of more salary, AND more papers/pencils/crayons for my kids. And another teacher in our grade level so that we could actually follow the class size reduction mandate. 

Maybe I'm way out of line here, but my close friend's wedding is coming up in a couple months and I expect my boyfriend to attend the wedding with me. He refuses. Am I really out of line for wanting him to come? Question here...

This one is for my lady friends who are married. So that means pretty much all of you. 

1. When you have a social function, such as a close friend's wedding, high school reunion, mission reunion, etc... Do you expect your husband to attend with you?

2. Does your husband willingly attend or does he act like a mopey poop the whole time?

Wise Words #7

"I don't need to throw around my degree from Northwestern or my juris doctorate to be condescending. I can do just fine being condescending on my own."
- (with love) S.G.

Dear Wendy,

Remember when we used to make up interpretive dances to Britney Spears's songs? AHEM. I mean, remember when our "friends" used to make up interpretive dances to the aforementioned songs?

Well, my college friend Drew made one real humdinger of a video. I can't stop watching it. And so I find myself forcing it on all of you.

Feel free to watch it over and over again. My favorite part comes at about 2:57, and it involves a family of ducks. 

Love, 

Heather

PS: Watch this one by the same artist. Only if you have time, of course. This one is a beautiful rendition of a beloved Primary song. And no, I'm not a heathen. So there.

Can we get a little RESPECT?

Seriously. The Spanish Olympic basketball team released these photos:

What in the name of cultural tolerance were they thinking? How disrespectful and downright disgusting!

"It was something, like, supposed to be funny or something but never offensive in any way," said Spainish center Pau Gasol, who also plays for the LA Lakers, in this article, which contains some real gems. In case you don't have time to read it, here are the highlights:

Frank Zhang (spokesperson from Li Ning, a Spanish clothing brand) said, "...the gesture shows that the Spanish team is so humorous, relaxing and cute. They sat around a dragon pattern, which we think showed respect to the Chinese."
Listen here, Frank. It was humorous and cute until y'all started making hate gestures.

Manuel Calderon, one of the Spanish players (who plays for NBA's Toronto Raptors), said, "We have great respect for the far East and its people. Some of my best friends in Toronto are originally Chinese..."
Ohhhhhh, okay. Some of your "best friends" are Chinese? Like we haven't heard that racially insidious qualifier before. Hmm... George Wallace, the trademark racist governor of Alabama in the 1960's, apologized for his segregationist ways in the documentary George Wallace: Settin' the Woods of Fire (2000). How so? Wallace said, "some of my best friends are black." 

Sure they are. Sure they are...

This was shared today by a friend. Thanks Amanda E.!!!

warning: there is some mild language (ie: d***a**) and one questionable image.

This Land! | Funny Jokes at JibJab

So if you know any men in their, um, nineties, who are looking for a very superior wife of the 1930's, tell them to give me call. Did they even have phones back then?

93 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Superior Take the test!

I am so excited about Girls Rock Camp!!!!!!!! Steve took me to see the documentary about the camp at the Tower Theater back in June, and I can't stop thinking it. In case you didn't click on my hyperlink, Girls Rock is a summer camp based in Portland, Oregon. Basically, they take girls at all levels of music experience, help them choose groups ("rock bands"), give them private lessons, and  help them write an original song. Then, at the end of the week, the campers participate in a showcase concert, performing for their friends, family, and the community. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!??!?!?!

Also, they are 501(c)3 non-profit organization with lots of scholarship assistance for girls who can't afford tuition. 

From their website:
We want to eradicate all the limiting myths about music and gender that make girls afraid to speak up, sing out, and make noise. We want to abolish all the obsolete traditions that restrict many girls' and women's free musical expression and obstruct their access to the world of music. We seek to demonstrate—through lessons, mentorship, positive examples, and the shared experiences of the staff and volunteers—that every genre of music from the heaviest to the most delicate, and every technical job and creative endeavor in the music industry, is available to any girl or woman who wants to explore it.

I had a really strong emotional connection to this film. Not so long ago, I was one of those girls who played the drums and sometimes felt out-of-place making music. I often felt intimidated by jerky boys who didn't want to "play with a girl." I eventually found solace with Brickle, my girl band from college. I made music with two amazing women (Briana and Minda) and one incredible, enlightened, opened-minded male bass player (Dave). I can't begin to describe how empowering it is to make music, to play the drums in a rock band, and to play shows in front of big (and semi-big) crowds. 

The camp has locations in other cities around the world, all organized by woman rockers who are dedicated to empowering the next generation of female musicians. There are camps in Washington DC, Portland, Brooklyn... 

Can anyone guess what city still needs a branch of Girls Rock Camp? I am seriously considering organizing a Las Vegas chapter. I have one colleague who is willing to collaborate on this. Anyone else willing to lend a hand for next summer?